Help
by lrigD
Summary: A little something after Aliens in a Spaceship you know, where Bones and Hodgins are buried underground . First Bones fic. Probably completely off.


_**Yeah...  
So I imagine most of you are waiting for either a follow-up on the 'Cloak' scenes from NCIS (so that would be from Dagger...), but I haven't seen the new episode yet. I'm downloading it, and when I get back from school, it's probably finished, but not yet. Besides, I have heard that there was hardly any Tiva-ness in the episode... Which is REALLY disappointing! Those two should just get it over with.  
Or you are waiting for a second chapter to 'Meeting the Past', which is the Criminal Minds/Higher Ground thing. Well, I am working on it. But yesterday evening I saw the episode 'Aliens in a Spaceship' of Bones and it stuck with me.**_

_**Oh My God. Remind me to never get buried underground. I have so much admiration for how Bones managed to stay so calm. I definitely wouldn't've been able to do that. Ever. Nor operate on someone's leg. Ouch.  
Anyway, so it stuck with me. And I have to get this out of my system, because frankly I am disappointed with the lack of post-event-sweetness with Bones and Booth. Because we did see it with Angela and Hodgins. (Definitely warming up to him now, by the way. GREAT acting. I felt so sorry!)  
And yes, it might've happened in a later episode, but since AiaS is the last one I have seen so far, I wouldn't know. Besides, what other is this site for than our fantasy?  
So here it is. :) Enjoy and PLEASE review! This is my first Bones fic...**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

Dr Temperance Brennan walked into the lab, ignoring the looks one of the security guards threw her. It was night, after all, and visitors were sparse.

Entering her office, she looked around a little lost. Now she was actually here, it seemed like a silly idea. She'd just needed to get away from her home, looking so claustrophobic now…

She had always connected the lab to freedom. She could be herself here, without looks or anger or misunderstandings. These were people like her. They understood.

And right now, she just needed to calm down. She was still alive; nothing serious had happened, she had not had any large injuries. Her leg hadn't been operated on without any pain killers. She had survived.

Then why did she feel so bad? Why did she still hyperventilate whenever she was in a small space?

Logically, she knew what it was. A traumatic response; a way for her body to tell her to avoid these spaces from now on, because last time hadn't been heaven. Logically, she knew what it was, she knew she was reacting perfectly normal and she knew it would eventually go away.

But that didn't help her. It didn't stop the dreams of being buried underground, slowly running out of air. It didn't help forget the feeling of cutting into human flesh. It didn't muffle the scream Hodgins had let out as she had cut into his leg. She knew it was the right thing to do, but she'd never forget that sound. Nor the pure love for Angela she had seen in his eyes, just a moment before they'd thought he'd die.

She already knew she would never forget any of those moments. The feeling of less air every time she inhaled, the paralyzing desperation that had threatened to take her over. She had stayed calm, rational, for Hodgins' sake. The man panicked easily and they had needed at least one rational mind. But inside she had been screaming her lungs out, inside she had panicked so much it was hard to focus sometimes.

Focus. That was the key word. Temperance Brennan, forensic anthropologist, didn't lose focus. It was required for the things she did, when one stray thought could take away the whole train of thoughts that led to identifying the remains of a person. She needed her head for the job, and losing her head was a scary prospect.

She also knew crying was a regular part in the process of healing. She hadn't cried, she had only relived that time every night. Had avoided small places because she knew it would bring up memories. She had avoided any reason to cry.

Now though, she could think of no more reasons to not let herself go. Her focus had become blurry, her thoughts intertwined with memories. She could no longer work like this, with her feelings threatening to take over her mind.

She walked over to her desk, pulled out a drawer and took a book from it. Frowning, she gently opened it, tracing the lines of a ripped-off page with her finger.

She had written down a message, too, when Hodgins had asked her. She had succumbed to the blinding panic for just a moment, allowing her emotions to shine through and to write a note.

She didn't know what happened to it. Where was it now, anyway? She remembered Hodgins' look after he'd written down his message, a look of hope, honesty, love and fear, all in one. It had been important, the last message they'd have been able to give to the outer world, if they were ever found in the first place…

She brushed her cheek when she noticed the wet spot on the papers in front of her. She'd been crying already and she hadn't even noticed… like she'd been blind to the feelings of two of her best friends before that. Love… she hadn't even known it was that deep. And yet Hodgins had been so brave, even at the prospect of losing his life, and causing pain in those of many others…

Her tears were coming freely now, she didn't even make an attempt to stop them. She just looked down, shoulders shaking, head in her hands, waiting for it to end.

When two arms enveloped her, she hardly had the power to look up. It'd be Booth, it always was. He had the uncanny ability to always know where she was, even when she was feet deep under ground…

She finally turned around to him, and was slightly taken aback by the sudden proximity of his face. But it didn't matter, because he looked at her with eyes that didn't say "you're weak", he looked at her with pride and sadness. He brushed her tears away, held her against him, let her cry until his shirt was soaked and still he was there for her, without asking what was wrong, without any words.

Because he knew. He had seen the pain and the fear in her eyes, he had known she'd have to let it out someday and he knew she'd do it here, at night, when no one was there to comfort her with stupid-sounding sentences.

He did the same, rocking her back and forth while whispering silly consolations, but it was different. More intimate, more real. As if he really meant it.

And that meant a lot to her.

* * *

**_SLIGHTLY surrealistic (which was sarcasm, people). Bones is the summum of being composed and rational. I don't think she sounded quite so rational here._**


End file.
